I'm taking a quick break while my custard cream dough sits in the fridge and I should be taking the opportunity to do the washing up but I'm blatantly not.
Jess turns one tomorrow, this time last year I was in my second day of labour and thinking that it was worse than the first day of labour but not realising that it was still a walk in the park compared to the third day when things really got going!
I've been mulling things over in my mind for the last few days about how amazing this year has been and how quickly Jess is changing and learning. The little things she used to do like sooth herself to sleep by sucking her middle fingers which suddenly stopped without me noticing; how, before she could crawl, she would lie on her front kicking her legs and pumping her arms with such energy and frustration. I can see everything with such clarity right back to when she was born and I first saw her face and heard the wonder in John's voice as he stood behind me, the sadness I felt as, with tears running down my face, I poured formula down her throat while she was wrapped in a sheet when we were readmitted to hospital after my milk failed to come in.
She's now crawling, pulling herself up to her feet and, I think, will soon be walking on her own. She eats amazingly well and only needs me to feed her about three times a day and I suspect that is mostly for comfort but I'm happy to continue as long as she wants. She is still being carried in her ever expanding sling collection and I have no plans to get her a buggy. Maybe this has now become a point of pride for me but whatever, it's my choice. I've had too many people tell me I won't be able to carry her for ever that I seem to have taken it as a challenge. Anyway, I couldn't imagine not having her that close when we're out and about.
We seem to be in full swing of a really annoying phase where anything and everything is emptied out or pulled off shelves; the nappy bucket, the laundry basket, the cat's litter tray and water and food bowls, cds, books, laundry hanging out to dry, the bin etc etc. You name it and she'll do her best to make a mess out of it. But I get such a kick out of watching her explore and work out what she's capable off.
She's completely fearless and will happily mooch off in the pub and attempt to get behind the bar. We have started going to a music group in Stoke Newington and on our first visit she slipped off my knee and crawled out to the front to get a closer look at the proceedings while bigger children ran around her. I am so proud of my little girl and really hope she keeps this up and isn't inflicted with the crippling shyness I had as a child.
So, my gorgeous girl, happy first birthday! I'll go and get back to making your birthday goodies now!
Friday, 14 January 2011
Friday, 24 December 2010
Happy Christmas
Next year I'm going back to work so will have even less time to attend to this blog but probably more to write about as we navigate nurseries and time apart but for now I'm looking forward to our first christmas with our beautiful girl.
Monday, 13 December 2010
Christmas Dilemmas
This could be called Christmas and birthday dilemmas really given that my spectacular planning means Jess will be celebrating both of them fairly close together, but before I get stuck in I need to apologise for the lack of recent blogging, Jess has apparently turned into a little power house that no longer requires that much sleep during the day but does require 100% of my attention to stop her eating cat food, playing with the litter tray, attempting to pull piles of Cd's down on her head, aggresively pruning the peace lily or generally doing something life threatening with anything she can get her hands on. Which turns out is a lot. Just last week she discovered she's tall enough to pull things off tables and dressers so there are very few places that are safe anymore.... I have to say with the generic mother's rose tinted spectacles they hand out in the labour ward that she's generally so cute when she's attempting to destroy the flat I can't really find it that annoying either. Although she is getting harder to take to the pub given that she keeps crawling off and trying to get behind the bar. I can't think who she takes after....
Anyway back to my dilemma. As I might have mentioned in the past I am quite a controlling person. Bizarrely now I've admitted to that I feel the need to announce it more and more as it seems to excuse me of anything! In the case of Jess' first birthday and Christmas my inner control freak reared it's ugly head around the subject of presents. I've been to a couple of children's birthdays and seen what small children get for Christmas and, my god, it's a helluva lot. I did actually get quite worked up and worried about it for a while and thought of ways to stem the flow as it were. And I realise how ungrateful that makes me sound so I will try to explain myself.
Firstly, as I'm sure many of you know, I try to keep things a bit simple if I can. I know my flat is full of stuff but I don't really want to add anymore to that if possible, and anything that Jess is going to get very little or no use out of falls into the category of stuff we don't need. I've had to get quite brutal and ignore my sentimental side since having Jess or I'd be swamped.
The other side of keeping things simple is that I don't want to be responsible for stuff being manufactured and disposed off needlessly. Especially if it's plastic. And that is for this reason. I would rather be involved as little as possible with disposing of plastic goods that wind up in our oceans killing our marine life. The fact that there is a flotilla of waste plastic in the pacific ocean which (after 5 minutes googling) is anywhere between the size of Texas or the size of north America which is doing nothing other than quickly getting bigger and breaking down into smaller more dangerous particles very slowly. The fate of albatrosses who eat this plastic and die is very visible and a tragedy but as the plastic gets smaller and into more of the marine Eco system the real tragedy will begin and it will be epic. Me saying "I don't want plastic for my child" does very little to stop this but it salves my guilty conscience for every plastic bottle I've ever brought.
The other issue I have is that I don't want Jess turned into a consumer so young. I have this idealistic view that she should be creative and use her imagination for play rather than just have a big pile of the latest toys. I want her to experience the true joy of getting a new toy as an occasional treat and along side that goes the disappointment of not having everything you want when you want it. It's a bitter pill to swallow for children, I remember regularly being upset that my mother wouldn't capitulate every time I said "I want that" but now I'm damned glad she stood by her principles as it makes getting new things so much more pleasurable!
This year I decided to set up a just giving account so anyone who wants to get Jess a present could donate to FSID in her name. I decided on the Foundation for the Study of Infant Death to remind myself how lucky I am to have a happy healthy child and that I should never take anything for granted.
I was all keyed up to ask people to donate but actually wording that this was what I wanted seemed incredibly difficult. I talked to a few people about it who agreed that it was lovely idea but it would be so hard to do it without offending people. What finally changed my mind was realising (and things like this are a huge learning curve for me) that however much I may joke that Jess is my mini me, she's not. She is an individual, albeit a tiny and dependent one and very likely completely unaware of all her mothers' hand wringing over this issue but I cannot really control how people what to interact with her and although she is my daughter her extended family and our friends have some ownership over her as well and who am I to deny if they want to demonstrate what they feel for her by choosing and buying her a present? I should be (and I am) incredibly grateful and touched that people care enough about Jess to want to treat her.
My next lesson to learn is to stop over thinking things! And to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and new year. My new years resolution will be to not neglect this page so much!
And I am delighted that I managed to write a blog post with only having to stop to clear up one very squidgy nappy (damned kiwis) and kiss one bumped head which appears to be rapidly turning into a black eye.....
Anyway back to my dilemma. As I might have mentioned in the past I am quite a controlling person. Bizarrely now I've admitted to that I feel the need to announce it more and more as it seems to excuse me of anything! In the case of Jess' first birthday and Christmas my inner control freak reared it's ugly head around the subject of presents. I've been to a couple of children's birthdays and seen what small children get for Christmas and, my god, it's a helluva lot. I did actually get quite worked up and worried about it for a while and thought of ways to stem the flow as it were. And I realise how ungrateful that makes me sound so I will try to explain myself.
Firstly, as I'm sure many of you know, I try to keep things a bit simple if I can. I know my flat is full of stuff but I don't really want to add anymore to that if possible, and anything that Jess is going to get very little or no use out of falls into the category of stuff we don't need. I've had to get quite brutal and ignore my sentimental side since having Jess or I'd be swamped.
The other side of keeping things simple is that I don't want to be responsible for stuff being manufactured and disposed off needlessly. Especially if it's plastic. And that is for this reason. I would rather be involved as little as possible with disposing of plastic goods that wind up in our oceans killing our marine life. The fact that there is a flotilla of waste plastic in the pacific ocean which (after 5 minutes googling) is anywhere between the size of Texas or the size of north America which is doing nothing other than quickly getting bigger and breaking down into smaller more dangerous particles very slowly. The fate of albatrosses who eat this plastic and die is very visible and a tragedy but as the plastic gets smaller and into more of the marine Eco system the real tragedy will begin and it will be epic. Me saying "I don't want plastic for my child" does very little to stop this but it salves my guilty conscience for every plastic bottle I've ever brought.
The other issue I have is that I don't want Jess turned into a consumer so young. I have this idealistic view that she should be creative and use her imagination for play rather than just have a big pile of the latest toys. I want her to experience the true joy of getting a new toy as an occasional treat and along side that goes the disappointment of not having everything you want when you want it. It's a bitter pill to swallow for children, I remember regularly being upset that my mother wouldn't capitulate every time I said "I want that" but now I'm damned glad she stood by her principles as it makes getting new things so much more pleasurable!
This year I decided to set up a just giving account so anyone who wants to get Jess a present could donate to FSID in her name. I decided on the Foundation for the Study of Infant Death to remind myself how lucky I am to have a happy healthy child and that I should never take anything for granted.
I was all keyed up to ask people to donate but actually wording that this was what I wanted seemed incredibly difficult. I talked to a few people about it who agreed that it was lovely idea but it would be so hard to do it without offending people. What finally changed my mind was realising (and things like this are a huge learning curve for me) that however much I may joke that Jess is my mini me, she's not. She is an individual, albeit a tiny and dependent one and very likely completely unaware of all her mothers' hand wringing over this issue but I cannot really control how people what to interact with her and although she is my daughter her extended family and our friends have some ownership over her as well and who am I to deny if they want to demonstrate what they feel for her by choosing and buying her a present? I should be (and I am) incredibly grateful and touched that people care enough about Jess to want to treat her.
My next lesson to learn is to stop over thinking things! And to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and new year. My new years resolution will be to not neglect this page so much!
And I am delighted that I managed to write a blog post with only having to stop to clear up one very squidgy nappy (damned kiwis) and kiss one bumped head which appears to be rapidly turning into a black eye.....
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
Potato, carrot and cheese cakes.
These are yummy and great food for baby led weaning. Or as finger foods if you're not BLW. I have to be honest and say Jess didn't get too many of the first batch but I had to make sure they were ok!
Boil up some carrots and potatoes, when soft drain and mash them, add grated cheese and mix in well, then mix in flour until the mixture is the right consistancy to roll into little balls and hold together.
Roll into little balls and fry in a little olive oil squishing them down in the pan to make discs.
Obviously you can add pretty much anything to these, I'm going to try them with parsnip next time! They are also good cold and can be heated up in a dry frying pan if you want them hot again later.
I do need to credit my beloved domestic goddess of a sister for this one, she's really rather good!
Boil up some carrots and potatoes, when soft drain and mash them, add grated cheese and mix in well, then mix in flour until the mixture is the right consistancy to roll into little balls and hold together.
Roll into little balls and fry in a little olive oil squishing them down in the pan to make discs.
Obviously you can add pretty much anything to these, I'm going to try them with parsnip next time! They are also good cold and can be heated up in a dry frying pan if you want them hot again later.
I do need to credit my beloved domestic goddess of a sister for this one, she's really rather good!
Thursday, 7 October 2010
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
National Baby Wearing Week
It is indeed national baby wearing week this week! I did think I should do something special but thought it would probably be enough to wear Jess everyday as I have been and maybe write a blog to try and encourage more baby wearing!
I now have what could officially be called a stash! My beautiful wrapsody aprodite stretchy wrap, my colourful workhorse that is the woven and non stretchy storchenwiege anna wrap and my flowery mai tei. To be honest, I do love the mai tei but I don't tend to use it so much and usually find myself reaching for my woven wrap. It took a little getting used to but it's just so supportive and comfortable I can carry Jess for a long time without any discomfort. The stretchy is just so soft and gorgeous but the bigger and heavier Jess gets means that I can't use it for long periods. The green moby I blogged about ages ago has gone stay with my friend and her new little boy for as long as they need it.
There have been baby carrier recalls in the past and the word is that there will be more in the not too distant future. It can be confusing for people thinking about wearing their babies as there are so many different types of carrier and the recalls often seem to lump all the carriers together so....
Bag carriers are unsafe and although the infantino carrier which was responsible for the deaths of three children has been recalled there are many that are still on the market (premaxx etc).
Wraps, mai teis, soft structured carriers and ring slings are all safe providing they are used correctly. And actually they are more than safe, they are positively beneficial to your babies physical and emotional development.
Baby bjorns and the like are safe but I personally don't like them as the baby dangles from their crotch while they should be supported from knee to knee and they're not as supportive for the person doing the carrying.
The Baby Carrier Industry Alliance has published their position paper on carriers, creating an industry standard and possible up coming recalls. I'd recommend anyone interested in baby wearing to read it. Actually I'd recommend any parent to read it as it really explains the benefits attached to wearing your baby better than I can!
So this week my task is to encourage all of you to get your babies on and wear with pride!
I now have what could officially be called a stash! My beautiful wrapsody aprodite stretchy wrap, my colourful workhorse that is the woven and non stretchy storchenwiege anna wrap and my flowery mai tei. To be honest, I do love the mai tei but I don't tend to use it so much and usually find myself reaching for my woven wrap. It took a little getting used to but it's just so supportive and comfortable I can carry Jess for a long time without any discomfort. The stretchy is just so soft and gorgeous but the bigger and heavier Jess gets means that I can't use it for long periods. The green moby I blogged about ages ago has gone stay with my friend and her new little boy for as long as they need it.
There have been baby carrier recalls in the past and the word is that there will be more in the not too distant future. It can be confusing for people thinking about wearing their babies as there are so many different types of carrier and the recalls often seem to lump all the carriers together so....
Bag carriers are unsafe and although the infantino carrier which was responsible for the deaths of three children has been recalled there are many that are still on the market (premaxx etc).
Wraps, mai teis, soft structured carriers and ring slings are all safe providing they are used correctly. And actually they are more than safe, they are positively beneficial to your babies physical and emotional development.
Baby bjorns and the like are safe but I personally don't like them as the baby dangles from their crotch while they should be supported from knee to knee and they're not as supportive for the person doing the carrying.
The Baby Carrier Industry Alliance has published their position paper on carriers, creating an industry standard and possible up coming recalls. I'd recommend anyone interested in baby wearing to read it. Actually I'd recommend any parent to read it as it really explains the benefits attached to wearing your baby better than I can!
So this week my task is to encourage all of you to get your babies on and wear with pride!
Not the best photo but shows of the stoch anna and you get the idea!
Friday, 1 October 2010
Bringing up girls
This is a post I've wanted to write for a while but it's such a huge topic I didn't really know where to start. To be honest it can also be applied to bringing up boys but, for the moment, I'm just bringing up a girl so that's my view point.
I'm still not really sure where to start, there's so much crap welling up in my mind that makes me angry and I see more everyday. On tuesday I had a job interview and while I was sitting in a cafe before hand trying not to eat my own arm out of nerves I was distracted by a billboard for matalan where four girls aged about eight or so where lined up (a la sex and the bloody city) holding hands etc and wearing really quite adult clothes and sporting handbags. I'm guessing the range of clothes came from Matalan's Candy Couture range "funky prints and grown up style- the latest fashion must haves for girls age 8-13 years". But this is from the shop that lists padded bras in the featured items of it's girls essentials line.
I know it has become the mantra of grauniad readers for a while now to let our children be children but I really do want to let my daughter be a little girl until she's ready to grow up. And it scares me that children have so much exposure to things that try to force them to grow up early. This applies to both girls and boys as it seems (mirroring adult life) that girls should be trying to turn themselves into objects to attract boys from early on, hence the padded bras, while boys are encouraged to look at girls as objects to be possessed. I've heard vague stories of teenage boys referring to their girlfriends as "my gash". Do I want my daughter to be called that or to think it's acceptable to be called that? No I bloody don't.
The epitomy of the clothing directed at girls that makes my skin crawl is the primark t-shirt with the "future wag" logo. I don't go into primark (not wishing to wear clothes made in a sweatshop if I can avoid it) so I don't know if this t-shirt is still stocked but I can imagine there are many similar slogans.... It saddens me that it's seen as acceptable by a major high st brand to encourage girls to aspire to nothing more than being the grammatically incorrect hanger on to a rich man. Add this to tesco offering a toy pole dancing kit and endless other tales of retailers getting things so totally wrong and growing up just looks like a minefield.
What really worries me though is that there are so many of these tales of pole dancing kits, inappropriate clothing, inappropriate everything that over sexualises our little girls that more and more is slipping under the radar. So the padded bra is somehow ok and acceptable and the playboy pencil case is just a laugh.
I think a lot of this goes back to the very innocuous "girls will be girls, boys will be boys" attitude but it has me wondering, what comes first? Do girls all really love pink to the exclusion of all else or do we tell them they love pink so they take on the "pink persona".
Don't get me wrong, children love dressing up and make believe and I remember as a child pretending to be a princess and having a dressing up box containing some fabulous dresses, including my mother's wedding dress, I used to mess around with her makeup on a fairly regular basis too, apparently once drinking some nail varnish but I also remember dressing up as pirates and having dens in the woods and getting messy and muddy and generally having a thoroughly good time. Possibly with lashings of ginger beer.... But I find it hard to imagine a little girl running round the great outdoors and throwing her imagination to the wind while wearing heeled pumps and a padded bra.
I think what bothers me is that I see a link between things that are meant to be harmless and things that aren't. Baby girls dressed head to toe in pink which links to barbies and disney princesses which links to plastic and completely unobtainable body images which links in the to the big wide world of playboy, topless models (run up to page 3 girls hitting 16 or whatever age it is so they can get their tits out legally, makes me shudder) which all links in to the only validation a girl can have about herself is from the way she looks. It's so sad and it's not what I want for my daughter.
Pink Stinks is a great organisation which campaigns for real role models for girls and generally expains all the half formed thoughts jostling in my head better than I can here!
I can't hide all this from Jess but I have to make sure that I arm her as much as possible with an enquiring mind, I encourage her to question what she sees and I give her a sense of her own value being what it is and not based on flimsy.
I'm still not really sure where to start, there's so much crap welling up in my mind that makes me angry and I see more everyday. On tuesday I had a job interview and while I was sitting in a cafe before hand trying not to eat my own arm out of nerves I was distracted by a billboard for matalan where four girls aged about eight or so where lined up (a la sex and the bloody city) holding hands etc and wearing really quite adult clothes and sporting handbags. I'm guessing the range of clothes came from Matalan's Candy Couture range "funky prints and grown up style- the latest fashion must haves for girls age 8-13 years". But this is from the shop that lists padded bras in the featured items of it's girls essentials line.
I know it has become the mantra of grauniad readers for a while now to let our children be children but I really do want to let my daughter be a little girl until she's ready to grow up. And it scares me that children have so much exposure to things that try to force them to grow up early. This applies to both girls and boys as it seems (mirroring adult life) that girls should be trying to turn themselves into objects to attract boys from early on, hence the padded bras, while boys are encouraged to look at girls as objects to be possessed. I've heard vague stories of teenage boys referring to their girlfriends as "my gash". Do I want my daughter to be called that or to think it's acceptable to be called that? No I bloody don't.
The epitomy of the clothing directed at girls that makes my skin crawl is the primark t-shirt with the "future wag" logo. I don't go into primark (not wishing to wear clothes made in a sweatshop if I can avoid it) so I don't know if this t-shirt is still stocked but I can imagine there are many similar slogans.... It saddens me that it's seen as acceptable by a major high st brand to encourage girls to aspire to nothing more than being the grammatically incorrect hanger on to a rich man. Add this to tesco offering a toy pole dancing kit and endless other tales of retailers getting things so totally wrong and growing up just looks like a minefield.
What really worries me though is that there are so many of these tales of pole dancing kits, inappropriate clothing, inappropriate everything that over sexualises our little girls that more and more is slipping under the radar. So the padded bra is somehow ok and acceptable and the playboy pencil case is just a laugh.
I think a lot of this goes back to the very innocuous "girls will be girls, boys will be boys" attitude but it has me wondering, what comes first? Do girls all really love pink to the exclusion of all else or do we tell them they love pink so they take on the "pink persona".
Don't get me wrong, children love dressing up and make believe and I remember as a child pretending to be a princess and having a dressing up box containing some fabulous dresses, including my mother's wedding dress, I used to mess around with her makeup on a fairly regular basis too, apparently once drinking some nail varnish but I also remember dressing up as pirates and having dens in the woods and getting messy and muddy and generally having a thoroughly good time. Possibly with lashings of ginger beer.... But I find it hard to imagine a little girl running round the great outdoors and throwing her imagination to the wind while wearing heeled pumps and a padded bra.
I think what bothers me is that I see a link between things that are meant to be harmless and things that aren't. Baby girls dressed head to toe in pink which links to barbies and disney princesses which links to plastic and completely unobtainable body images which links in the to the big wide world of playboy, topless models (run up to page 3 girls hitting 16 or whatever age it is so they can get their tits out legally, makes me shudder) which all links in to the only validation a girl can have about herself is from the way she looks. It's so sad and it's not what I want for my daughter.
Pink Stinks is a great organisation which campaigns for real role models for girls and generally expains all the half formed thoughts jostling in my head better than I can here!
I can't hide all this from Jess but I have to make sure that I arm her as much as possible with an enquiring mind, I encourage her to question what she sees and I give her a sense of her own value being what it is and not based on flimsy.
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